Life Is Full Of Give & Take

“I’m thankful for all of it. The highs. The lows. The blessings. The lessons. The setbacks. The comebacks. The love. The hate. Everything.”

November has always been my favorite month. For me, it's a month full of birthdays, love, thankfulness, & so much more! However, after the unexpected passing of my father in March 2017, I was struggling to find things to be thankful for.

Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love my family, therefore, the loss of one of my parents really shattered my heart. My world felt like it was upside down, bouncing around, but continuing to spin faster than ever.

During this time of my life, my eyes were truly opened to who & what I NEED to be thankful for, but it took me a year and a half after my dad's death to finally see it.

I've always been a big fan of words. To me, words are SO powerful, which is both a blessing & a curse. I find myself really relating to life lesson quotes & music.

"Anyone can show up when you're happy. But the ones who stay by your side when your heart falls apart, they are your true friends."

It's easy to think that when your world falls apart, all of your friends will stop their lives to be with you, but unfortunately that's not the case. Their world doesn't stop & you cannot be mad at them for that.

At first I was bitter, but then I realized, this is something I should be thankful for. I'm thankful that I have people in my life that don't know the pain & grief that my family & I have experienced and will continue to experience for the rest of our lives.

"In life you'll find there are rare people who show up at the right time, help you through the hard times & stay into your best times... Those are the keepers." - Nausicaa Twila

Now don't get me wrong, I have had many friends who are truly God sends that have taken care of me & my family & have loved us in the best ways possible through it all. And for those people who did stick around when the going got tough, I am thankful.

"Chaos is a friend of mine" - Bob Dylan

Unfortunately, my dad was not the only loss my family grieved in 2017. Eight months later in November, a family friend of ours lost their mom unexpectedly. One month after that family lost their mom, another family friend lost their dad unexpectedly. During these frustrating times of intense grief and confusion, my heart was struggling to see the good in anything even though we were in what was supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year."

After losing a parent, especially at a young age, you become a part of this "club." No one picks to be in the club, but you're automatically in it due to life & its unfortunate circumstances. There were many people in the club before me, & unfortunately, there will be many more after me. It was not until I had to be the one to reach out to someone going through exactly what I had gone through at the beginning of the year that I realized what I had to be thankful for. I'm thankful that God had prepared me to help others. Also, I'm thankful that God has placed certain people in my life that know exactly what it feels like & can cope & grieve with me on any given day, whether it be tomorrow, or five years from now.

"The right man will love all the things about you that the wrong man was intimidated by."

One thing that I have always recognized as a blessing is my fiancé, Hopper. That guy has loved me through some HARD times. He's been more than understanding, forgiving, & supportive. There has never been a doubt in my mind as to why God placed him in my life. Not only did he support me & love me through it all, but he gave me something to look back on & smile about during this difficult year & for that I am thankful. #SignedSeelyDelivered #BecomingABlushingBride #EngagedAtChristmas

"You have filled my heart with greater joy." Psalm 4:7

This year when Thanksgiving rolled around, my family was blessed to have the opportunity to spend it with close friends at the beach. It was a Thanksgiving full of laughter, beach volley ball, football, sequins, and love. Once again, God showed me that I'm thankful for the friends that have become family.

This November, I found myself no longer struggling to find things to be thankful for in my life. While I still cry (very often) at the thought that I'll never see my dad again on earth, I am thankful that I know I will see him again one day with my Heavenly Father. Also, I am thankful for the family that God has allowed to be present in my life that help me on a daily basis, especially my mom, brother, and sister.

"... give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18